Deconstructing the false self (Part 4)

In order for one to move inward towards multi-dimensional consciousness, you must first deconstruct the false self.  Admitting that you are a victim of mistaken identity, no longer choosing to drink of the three poisons that have infected your life, and suppressed your true being.

When we begin to deconstruct the false self, a side effect of the toxic poisons that we have immersed ourselves in begin to surface.  Much like when a person detoxes from a drug or alcohol addiction, withdrawals begin to surface.  The person needs to struggle and fight through this.  Giving in to the withdrawal means defeat.

This side effect of the withdrawal from the effects of the poisons of the ego that surfaces is called doubt. During this process, you will often experience self doubt (can I really do this?), self defeat (I am not capable of this), self judgement (I don't deserve this), etc. You however are stronger than the symptom.  You have the divine within you! Notice that every single one of these side effects are of the "self".  It is a last ditch effort of the false self  trying to cling on and maintain its lies. But by now, you have recognized that the false self is nothing more than a creation of the ego by the three poisons of I am what I have, I am what I do, and I am what others say I am.   Knowing this, let go of the doubt.  You let go of the doubt by realizing that the very nature of doubt is always about something positive.  For instance doubting your GOODNESS, or doubting your CAPABILITIES.  Never does doubt point toward the negative.  The Ego will always use doubt by trying to deceive you into believing the positive in yourself is not true.

It is the paramatman, the primordial being, the multi-dimensional consciousness that you are will always point toward the positive.  It points you toward the light that is breaking up the darkness.  With every nail, board, window, and wall you remove from the false contextual framework that you have been programmed to build around yourself that you rear down, the light of the positive, the light of love, the light of God, the light of the divine, begins to shine in and illuminate the lies that surround you, chasing them away., leaving you to feel the warmth of the sunlight, and all its healing properties upon your skin, entering each cell for the first time.

The light allows you to see the dust upon the mirror that you have been peering into for so long, thinking that "this is who I am", and realizing that you are so much more.  You see the detail and beauty of your true being.  Oh how the walls of that framework we lived in for so long has deceived us!

Let the deconstruction begin!

Meditation is the hammer that begins to deconstruct that framework we have been discussing.  As one first begins the deconstruction of the false self, one of the first things one realizes is that there isn't much room to swing that hammer.  There is so much clutter within the framework we have built around ourselves that it is even often hard to get to the walls.  We have to begin removing one piece of debris one piece at a time.  To do this, first begin the process of detoxing yourself of the three poisons.

Make a list of labels that you have created to define yourself based off of the three poisons. For example;

1) I am what I have. (making me "Wealthy")

a) my house

b) my car

c) money

d) etc.

2) I am what I do (Making me "better or worse"  then those around me")

a) unemployed

b) a boss

c) a server

d) etc.

3) I am what others say I am (Making me "important or less important" than others)

a)Pretty

b) uglee

c)nerdy

d)etc.

Do this for all three poisons. When we write our thoughts, we bring them into the tangible realm. We can then deal with them tangibly and face the facts.  Everything we experience begins with a thought. The very words you are reading are the creation, and manifestation of a thought. This is what you actually believe if we do this honestly (it only works when we are honest with ourselves).  This is most challenging to those who think they have it all together.  They have the best of everything in life.  Deconstructing the false self for them might reveal some very real scars that they did not want to deal with.  When all the comforts are gone, who are you really?  When all the discomforts are gone, who are you really?  This puts us on EQUAL ground.  We are not all that different when the labels and framework is removed.


Next, ask yourself WHY DO I BELIEVE that I am those labels?  Be honest with yourself.  Have you been told that to be successful, you must have the big house, 4 children and white picket fence?  Have you been told to believe that you will go to hell if you dont believe this specific way?  have you been told to believe that of you dont go to college and have a degree you are a failure and will never get anywhere?  Why do you believe you are those labels?

Thinking upon these things is what is called meditation,  Meditation comes from the same root word for medication.  While medication is medicine for the body, meditation is medicine for the mind.  Meditate upon why you believe you are these labels.  You are ridding yourself of the poisons that have plagued your life for so long, intoxicating you, causing you to believe that which is not real. Meditation upon these things is the medication to defeat the toxicity of the poisons

Realize the doubts you are feeling are a lie.  Let go and reject these titles, labels, or whatever else you would like to call them. Burn them, Flush them as the "crap" they are, burry them, rid them however you feel you need to do.  Deconstructing the false self can be a painful process for some as it may feel as though you are experiencing the death of someone close to you. This is ok. In fact, you are experiencing a death. You are experiencing the death of the false self.  Sometimes, this process means we need time to grieve.

I worked in a hospital some years ago and made daily trips into the cancer unit as part of my duties. It was in the cancer center that I learned one of the greatest lessons in the grieving process. As I had just brought in some supplies into the unit, I overheard a conversation from a patient that was just told they did not have much longer. Their loved one was sitting next to them and with tear filled eyes, and a crack in her voice asked "are you ok?" The patient, assumingly not wanting to upset the loved one just shook her head as to say "yes." The loved one then took the hand of the patient who was just told they did not have long to live and stated, "it's ok to not be ok." The patient smiled and let out a sigh of relief. The two hugged and cried consoling one another. I left, walking around the corner with water filled eyes myself, and learning a valuable lesson in grief. It was ok to step out of your comfort zone and to not be ok! I do not know what happened to that patient ultimately, but wherever they are, they impacted my life in one moment. What was unknown to the world is that I myself was going through a very traumatizing time, and was trying to hide my grief. It was this experience that taught me that grieving was part of the process of growing.

It is in this grief that we may feel anger.  Channel this anger to begin to pound those walls of the contextual framework that you are confined in.  see the light of the divine begin to shine upon your natural being, and feel it sprout as it takes its first peak outside of the seed it was once encased in.

As stated in the beginning, if we as natural beings contain all of nature's knowledge, and in the primordial self are part of this infinite divine nature, we can step out of and tear down this constricted, contaminated, and tainted contextual framework of walls that block the primordial self from being discovered and cultivated into full maturity.  Now that the seedling has sprung forth, we begin the journey of nurturing it into maturity, and living as the true you.

It is what it is! (Part 1)

There is a story that I was taught by Shanjian Dashi, one of my most cherished teachers, and I would like to begin by sharing it with you. It is called "The Old Farmer."

There once was an old farmer who owned a beautiful mare (female horse) that was used to work the land. One day, that horse ran away. On that day, the people of the village came to him offering him their sympathies yet commenting how unfortunate he was! The old farmer replied, "what makes you think this is unfortunate?" and walked away.

A few months later, the old farmer's mare returned, but with a young, healthy, strong, wild stallion on her side. Seeing this, the village people came again. This time saying how fortunate he was to have lost one horse, get his horse back, and also a stronger horse along with it! The old farmer replied, "What makes you think this is fortunate?" and walked away.

The very next day, the old farmer's son began to train the young stallion so that he too may be used to work on the farm. With a fight, he placed his saddle upon the horse and jumped on his back. The young stallion, having never been ridden bucked the young man off throwing him on the hard ground. The old farmer's son suffered a broken leg and would be immobilized for months. The village people heard about what happened an immediately came to offer their sympathies and saying how unfortunate this was to have happened. The old farmer replied, "What makes you think this is unfortunate?" and walked away.

One month later, a great war began. Every young able bodied male was drafted into battle. As the military came through the village selecting the young men for battle, they came upon the old farmer's son. Seeing that he could not fight with a broken leg, they passed him over and moved on through the rest of the village. As the battle ensued, the opposing force was superior in skill and every young man drafted from the village was killed. All except the old farmer's son. The village people were amazed at the old farmer's good fortune, as he was the only one to not suffer the loss of his son. The old farmer replied, "What makes you think this is so fortunate?" and walked away.

After hearing this story for the first time, Shanjian Dashi asked me what I learn from this story. The pondering of this parable began the beginning of a journey that I am still on today, and one that I hope will never end.

I struggled with answering his question as everything I could come up with seemed to simple. I wanted to really impress him with a profound and brilliant answer. I thought "Surely this enlightened man was testing my own level of enlightenment!" How egotistical of me.

Noticing my struggle with his question, Shanjian said to me these profound words. "It is what it is." I remember thinking to myself, is this man really enlightened? All that he can come up with is "It is what it is." What kind of explanation was that? I had thought of one hundred other lessons more profound then that! Being the amazing teacher he was, Shanjian let me ponder this new information a while longer.

Shanjian was known for his unorthodox answers to questions that people asked him. During this time of meditating upon the parable and Shanjian's reply, a man asked Shanjian what his lineage was that qualified him as a teacher. I was expecting Shanjian to explain to this man his training with many of the top scholars and teachers that would make any educational resume standout such as Narada Mahathera[1] and Nyanaponika Mahathera[2], or his secular education as a biologist and psychologist, yet Shanjian answered this man in a manner that sparked the answers to the very questions I have been meditating on about the parable I was told. Shanjian looked at the man and pointed to the piece of bamboo that he would often use as a cane. Perplexed, the man asked Shanjian "How can that piece of bamboo be your lineage?" to which Shanjian answered "It is what it is." The man walked away frustrated.

Immediately, I felt something rise up inside of me that felt as though I had gained some hidden knowledge. A epiphany of sorts, my "ah ha" moment. I began to understand what the parable really meant, and what master Shanjian was so wisely and patiently waiting to see awakened within me. Shanjian was simply stating to the man that the bamboo cane simply is only what it is. Nothing more, nothing less. But to me, it was so much more.

While we ourselves may see it as a cane because of its use as a cane, it still is of its original nature, bamboo! Every bit of nature's knowledge resides within that piece of bamboo. It holds the very same essence or primordial nature that every piece of bamboo before and after it holds. I realized that if that was true of that was true of the bamboo, it must also be true of ourselves. For we too have this nature! It is this very nature that master Shanjian was validating his lineage by.

Noticing that I have felt some epiphany, he asked me, "Now what have you learned from the parable?" My reply, "It is what it is!" Satisfied by my answer, master Shanjian walked away with a smile and said, "Indeed."

"It is what it is" is in fact exactly what this parable teaches us. We begin to realize that how we view the things that happen around us are completely based off of the contextual framework that they are viewed from. Looking back at the parable, the old farmer was wise enough to realize this. While the villagers would see the loss of the horse as unfortunate, the old farmer realized that their perception of the event as unfortunate was based out of the contextual framework in which they were seeing. Their focus was under the contextual framework that farming will be very difficult without the horse that does much of the heavy work. The farmer however realized that this was neither unfortunate nor fortunate. It was just the nature of the situation.

Likewise, as the string of events unfolded, we begin to see that the so called unfortunate brought forth the fortunate by bringing back another horse which was stronger than the first, allowing the old farmer to double his profits. This however brought forth a so called unfortunate event, breaking the leg of the son, which in turn brought forth a so called fortunate event of saving the life of the son.

We learn from this that there is no fortunate, nor unfortunate. The duality is illusionary. For once could not have existed without the other. They each appear as one half of the whole. Yet in reality, there is only the whole. Yet, we have been programmed by society, our upbringing, institutionalized religions, etc. to see this duality as a reality.

The Chinese have a fantastic representation of this very process. It is called the Tai Chi Tu, or what most people would recognize it as, the Yin Yang .

The Tai Chi Tu is one complete whole, a complete circle. Because of the contextual framework that you have been programmed with by the influences that surround you, you see two parts that make up a whole. Yet, if one half of this circle where to be removed from the whole, the whole model would collapse. Each half pushes the other into existence, thus maintaining their existence. Each so called half contains part of one another as well (as represented by the dots) demonstrating that one could not exist without the other. This negates the illusion of halves.

Think back to a time when you looked at another person, painting, animal, or whatever object or being you can recall that you yourself thought was "ugly". Yet this is a lie that you are telling yourself. Somewhere another person will look at the same object or being and see the beauty in it. So which one is it? Ugly or beautiful? The answer is determined by the contextual framework that you have been programmed to believe is reality. This duality of right or wrong, good or bad, ugly or beautiful, and so on is a daily aspect of our lives that shapes how we navigate through this life, progressing from one stage to the next. So if we are shaping our lives with a lie, can we ever really live in truth? This is the journey that I mentioned in the beginning of this writing that I said "I hope will never end". I want nothing more than humanity to live in truth, and I do believe that like the bamboo, we too all naturally have everything we need within us to be what and who we are truly meant to be.

We will talk a little more about the contextual frameworks that we build around ourselves in the next post.


FOOTNOTES

[1] Narada Mahathera (14 July 1898 – 2 October 1983). A leading scholar and Theravadan Buddhist monk who popularized Buddhist teachings and their implementation of them into the day to day lives of those in the western civilization. He was the author of 13 of the most well known books known to western Buddhists.

[2] Nyanaponika Mahathera (July 21, 1901 – 19 October 1994) was a contemporary author of numerous seminal Theravada books, and teacher of contemporary Western Buddhist leaders such as Bhikkhu Bodhi